Halo tales
by Megaman-the-Hedgehog2.0
Summary: A serious series of how cheif came to be cheif. Or is it serious? CHAPTER TWO IS UP.
1. Chapter 1

HALO TALES.

The story of master chief.

CHAPTER ONE: How he joined the army.

It was a good day in Cheiflandia, where chief lived. He frolicked in the machine gun flowers, and accidently ate a bottle of beer. He puked it up and saw a coupon for free Eggs. He took the coupon to the supermarket, which was overrun by…

ALIEN FIELD MICE.

He ran, and ran fast, thinking "I won't have the eggs, and I now have rabies." He ran to the doctor's office, where he was pronounced dead. "But Doc!" Chief said, "I'm still alive!" He said, waving his arm. His other one was getting mugged by squirrels.

"Muahahah you will die because I am a kitty cat monster!" he said, taking off his labcoat. He had blue spikes on his head, and an assault rifle for an arm. Chief Waved his arms and said "oh noes! I will die soon If I don't see a human doctor! Because I think I'm becoming one of the

ALIEN FIELD MICE.

He shaved off his whiskers and ran to the doctor's office near his computer. There he saw Being attacked by the squirrel bees he hated oh so much. He ran to save before he got Red bull'd by life. They readied the heavily shook cans and aimed.

Chief knew he needed…KIRBY.

He got the pink puffball and threw it at the bees. It was a strike, and chief bowled a pretty good 286. But he ran to the now okay doctor.

"Wow you saved my life! You should be the army!" said. That made chief think.

"If I joined the army, people would love me more than America loves Tim Allen! " Chief said. He ran to the army station near his cat box. Now he could join the army like normal people. He looked inside and saw people doing work.

"I should ask if I could join…." Chief said. The time was now. Chief had to join the army. Or else he wouldn't get proper medical care and become an

ALIEN FIELD MICE.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

HALO TALES

The story of master chief

CHAPTER TWO: Joining the army.

Chief looked at the bubbler, where a man who appeared to be homeless filled a milk jug with the water. Chief went up to him.

"Excuse me sir. Do you know where-"

Chief was interrupted.

"I know you have forty cents you don't want. Now hand them over." He said, Putting down his water.

"Sir, I'm broke due to the squirrels. They ate my pants." Chief said. He looked outside, and the squirrels were eating his heart boxers. "Luckily I wear pants under my underwear!" Chief said. The homeless man, named Homeless the bum, Flew away. He had to go to an Aerosmith concert.

So chief looked for the cubicle that belonged to Officer the Sergeant. He heard of him from the talking milk cartons that sit next to him on lunch break every Sunday at potato school.

He found his cubicle and talked to him.

"Officer, I want to become an army guy for I am turning into a

ALIEN FIELD MICE.

And since you have so many medkits that heal External, Internal, and Emotional wounds, I need one."

"You forgot to mention that they heal diarrhea, new soldier. But not Rashes caused by untreated Ninjas. We need you because you have pants, and hair. Most of

THE MEN

Are bald, and have no lifes. Or pants. They only have Nintendo Wii boxers. And squirrely feet. In fact you can take a look at squirrely the soldier who looks like a squirrel. We keep him in a cage because he bites.

Chief looked at squirrely who was nibbling at an

ANIMAL PLANET BRAND SOFT CHEW FOR SQUIRRELY LIKE SOLDIERS.

Chief looked away and back at .

"Where did you go to school chief?" He asked while drinking maple water. It also came in pine, cherrywood, and chipmunk.

"I graduated from potato school at the Manhattan bus stop in Chicago. I was the smartest spud they've ever had there." Chief said with a proud fist.

"Well then as the smartest spud you are hired. Congratulations because you no longer have to ask for money." said.

Chief was happy, because he could get a medkit, and shoot kitty cat monsters who call him dead.

TO BE CONTINUED…


	3. Halo tales Chapter 3 DOUBLE FEATURE

HALO TALES

The story of master chief.

PRE STORY STUFF: According to the review sheet, I've never played halo, and Humor parody stories shouldn't be made.

God, you people are on cheap drugs.

For people who know that they're looking in the **Humor parody section of , **I salute you. For those who don't, and feel the need to write retarded reviews, I give you a big resounding **KNOW YOUR SECTIONS GENIOUS. **

**______________________________________________________________________________**

Now for…

HALO TALES: the story of master chief.

DOUBLE-FEATURE. Chapter 3, the end of how chief joned the army, and the start of chapter 4, how chief got his suit.

HOW MASTER CHIEF JOINED THE ARMY, FINAL CHAPTER.

Master chief got on

THE PELICAN

And talked to

THE MEN.

"Who watches Gregs antomy here?" Chief asked the soldiers.

"Last week, Greg's ants were all like OH NO YOU DIDN'T." One of the men said.

"Yes that is true." Chief said.

As they landed chief went to a medkit. He got healed from

CERTAIN SQUIRRELY DOOM.

But in for a penny in for a pound. He looked at the nearest random pack of enemies, and….

*5 minutes later*

"MY ARM IS WHERE MY STOMACH IS, AND NOW I HAVE BOB MARLEY STUCK INSIDE MY HEAD!" Chief said. You can hear soft R&B coming from his forehead. The Elites were laughing, and his grenades were dead. He looked at

THE PELICAN

which wouldn't take off. He stole a grunt who was still quite alive, and ran to the pelican. The elites looked at Master chief, and were weirded out. They said "WHAT DID THAT PROVE?" and questioned eachothers existence.

HALO TALES 2: HOW CHIEF GOT HIS SUIT.

Chapter one:

Chief got back to 's cubicle and said "I can't war! I suck at it!"

"Well chief, you need proper armor then. We'll start with your grunt you brought." He grabbed some Duct Tape, and stuck the grunt on chiefs chest. It squealed, but chief poked him to shut him up.

"Now, we need to get you food. If you go to

WORLD 2-1

You can get the bag of infinite Doritos." He said.

"Perfect."

Chief took off to the interspace dimension portal where he warped to world 2-1. He jumped over

DOLPHIN-LLAMAS

And got to the end of level castle. He entered, raided their fridge, but found only

32 WEEK OLD NACHOS.

He walked out, and tripped two Italian plumbers. He started crying, and said

"NOW I CAN'T BE A GOOD WAR HERO AND WILL NEVER PAY MY DEBT TO SOCIETY SINCE I MOOCHED OFF OF THEIR FREE MEDKITS TO HEAL MY SQUIRRELINESS!"

Then, a magical floating hobo came by.

Chief Recognized him as Homeless the bum.

"Homeless! How was the concert?" Chief said.

"It was sort of good but I got three wishes for throwing away trash. I will give one to you since you got me cheetos with the forty cents since I stole from your pants."

Chief was happy. He wished for the magical bag of Doritoes and took off, waving goodbye to homeless.

He took off for his next destination.

WHICH WAS HOT TOPIC TO GET SOME SUIT PIECES.


End file.
